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A telegram was sent from Czeckoslovakia to the Kremlin with a request to help in setting up a naval ministry. The Kremlin was bewildered by this request as Czeckoslovakia was landlocked so why do they need a naval ministry. So the Kremlin asks the Czeckoslovians: Comrades, why do you need a naval ministry? You people don't have any seas or oceans bordering your country! The reply: Comrades, we need this ministry, after all you people have a ministry for culture!

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Категория: Юмор | Просмотров: 1352 | Добавил: sveta | Дата: 17.07.2008 | Комментарии (0)

Abu Shukri is driving his car through Damascus one day when a large black sedan with shaded windows bangs into him knocking off a pice of his car. Abu Shukri gets out and starts swearing "you idiot!". The black sedan's window winds down a few inches and a hand emerges giving him a card with a phone number, the sedan then drives off.
Abu Shukri goes home, still fuming, and that evening he calls the number: "you ****ing moron, why don't you take driving lessons?".
An icy voice on the other end says "Do ... Читать дальше »
Категория: Юмор | Просмотров: 1384 | Добавил: sveta | Дата: 17.07.2008 | Комментарии (0)

Great book. Here is a joke from Hungary in the fifties.
The Judges in a „Law” Court are having a coffee break. One of them sitting alone at a table suddenly bursts out laughing. The others look at him questioningly, and he explains: „My friends, I just heard the best political joke in my life, but unfortunately I can’t tell it to you, because I just gave someone three years for it.”
http://timesonline.typepad.com/comment/2008/06 ... Читать дальше »
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Making a walk through Saint Petersburg a Russian friend pointed at what he called the tallest building of his city. Seing the surprise on my face, as the building was rather big but really not that tall, he explained : this used to be the KGB-headquarters and in the old times one could see Siberia from its cellars.
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An old man is dying in his hovel on the steppes.

There is a menacing banging on the door.

‘Whose there?’ the old man asks.

‘Death ‘comes the reply.

‘Thank God for that,’ he says, ‘I thought Yeltsin had sold off my dacha to the liberal mafia before he'd even finish starving, freezing, medically-neglecting, and alcohol-poisoning me and a few million other Russians in the countryside to death with zero Western media coverage'.
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‘Whose there?’ the old man asks.

I shan't bother to read on. It's looking at grammar mistakes like this one that has made me unsure of my own English. This is something that has not happened since I first began to write in primary school where grammar and spelling were actually taught.
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Two friends are walking down the street when one turns to the other and says, Did you hear, Yuri has died? Died says his friend, I didn't even know he'd been arrested
http://timesonline.typepad.com/comment/2008/06/top-ten-communi.html

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Comrades, what is the intermediary step between Socialism and Communism? It's Alcoholism.

http://timesonline.typepad.com/comment/2008/06/top-ten-communi.html

Категория: Юмор | Просмотров: 1331 | Добавил: sveta | Дата: 14.07.2008 | Комментарии (0)

Another one...
Thousands of rabbits start streaming across the border from the Soviet Union to Rumania. The Rumanian border guards are flabbergasted. Finally, one picks up a rabbit by its ears and asks: What's going on here? The rabbit says: The KGB started to persecute camels. Border guard: You are not a camel. Rabbit: Well, YOU explain that to the KGB.

http://timesonline.typepad.com/comment/2008/06/top-ten-communi.html< ... Читать дальше »

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When Bulganin & Kruschev visited UK in 1956 they looked around a factory.
Talking to the workers, they asked what hours they worked : "We start at 8am, have an hour for dinner & leave at 5pm."
"But, in Russia, we start at 6am, no break, & leave at 6pm,"
"You won't get them to do that here, mate" said the foreman, "they're all bleeding Communists!"
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This one was popular in Czechoslovakia in the late 80s.

A worker asks another:
-Do you know what's the difference between capitalism and communism? In capitalism, the man exploits the man.
-And in communism?
-It's exactly the other way around.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/comment/2008/06/top-ten-communi.html

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Philosophy is like looking for a black cat in a dark room.
Marxist philosophy is like looking for a black cat in a dark room, only there is no cat.
Marxist-Leninist philosophy is like looking for a black cat in a dark room, only there is no cat but every now and again you shout "I've got it, I've got it."
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