 Two KGB agents: - What do you think of comrade Krouchev? - The same as you... - You're under arrest!
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Дата: 22.07.2008
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 "No. 7" by Mark is pretty good, but there is a DDR variation- not a joke, but fact. The waiting list for a car in DDR was 13, yes 13 years, and when you were informed that your car was ready for collection, you paid CASH! This told me in 1968, by my wife's uncle, (now deceased) who lived in Berlin-Pankow DDR also had a fine education system.
Children were taught to read. Children were taught to write, Then they were taught WHAT they could read. and WHAT they could write.<
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 - Почему в аpмии нет КВH? - Потому что веселые сидят на гаупвахте,
а находчивые - дома.
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 A man walking along a Moscow street, stops in front of a shop with a large plate-glass window. All the shelves are empty, but there's babuschka at the far end. Vodka has made him a bit talkative, so he walks in.
"Comrade" he says to babuschka, "I see that today you have no meat"
"Comrade, you are wrong! This is a fishmongers, and today we have no fish. Next door is the butcher's which has no meat"
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 s Czechoslokia in 1968 after the Soviets invaded to put an end to the Dubcek Regime and their Prague Spring. A Czech calls the police on the phone and says, "Two Swiss soldiers just stole my Russian watch." The policeman says, "You mean two Russian soldiers just stole your Swiss watch?" "You said it not me," the Czech citizen replies
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 An old Russian is standing in the queue waiting to buy some bread when they run out.
He exclaims how terrible things are, attracting worried glances from fellow shoppers.
A man in a long coat tells the old man that he should be more careful. "In the old days old man you could be shot for saying things like that".
The old man then crys:
"It's worse than I thought, now we don't even have any bullets left".
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 1.From the Fifties: A race was held between an American Ford and a Russian Moskovitch. The race is reported by Pravda as: the Russian car came in second, the American car came in next to last. 2. A Russian railway worker retires and is given a special pass that will get him to bypass the long lines at the railroad station. He shows up one day to take a journey and is directed to a long line. He asks "What is that line?" and is told that that is the line for people with the special pass. 3. A Russian
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 I can't resist adding this one I heard in the 70s. An Englishmen, a Frenchman and a Russian are drinking together in a pub. The Englishman says "You know what my idea of paradise is? Sitting in my armchair after a hard day's work, and my wife brings me my whiskey, pipe and slippers." The Frenchmen says "You English are so cold! Paradise is making love with the world's most beautiful woman for the whole night." The Russian says "You're both wrong! True paradise is when the KGB bang at your door
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 Moscow 1980, the opening ceremony of the Olympiad begins and Brezhev reads his opening speech. - Oh!, he says, Oh. Oh!... A worried aide whispers in his ear: - Comarade Brezhnev, it's Olympic rings, the speech is a bit lower.
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 Indira Ghandi pays an official visit to Moscow and is greeted by Brezhnev who begins his welcoming speech reading from a paper in his hand. 'My dear Mrs Thatcher...' he begins. A worried aide whispers: 'Comrade Brezhnev, it's Ghandi!' Brezhnev whispers back: 'I know, you fool, but the paper says "Thatcher".
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Bunch of Russians are sitting in a bar. One of them, pretty drunk, mouths off, "Communists are assholes." 
Recalled from a kids' TV show in the seventies: