 Here are a couple I picked up in the USSR: Gorbachev and his colleagues find themselves stymied trying to unite Russians behind perestroika. One of them mentions the tale that the spirits of the dead can be contacted through a night séance on the Sea of Azov. They decide to try it and seek the wisdom of past leaders.
Out in the boat, Gorbachev yells into the darkness, “Great leaders of Russia, come forth and give us your wisdom”. At the bow a face materializes: it is Josef Stalin.
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Дата: 26.07.2008
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 Brezhnev went to Paris on a trade mission. While he was there, his hosts took him to a strip show. A Western businessman bragged to him, "Of course, Communism could never produce anything like this."
I'll show you a thing or two, thought Brezhnev. He turned to an aide and said in Russian, "Next month, I want you to open the world's finest strip club. Spare no expense but hire only longtime Party members of proven loyalty. Understand?"
"I'll see to it at once, Comrade Secretary!" Next month, the
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Дата: 26.07.2008
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 A gas! The Evil Communist Empire promised to end world poverty, yet one half of humanity starved. Then came the Reagan-Thatcher Capitalist Revolution, promising prosperity to all. Now, half of humanity - - er - - anyone know a funny punchline?
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Дата: 25.07.2008
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Дата: 25.07.2008
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 American and Russian are discussing freedom of speech in their countries. American says: We are free to say anything we think! I can stay on a central square of a city and criticize US. Well, I can do that too - Russian replies.
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 A sociologist as an experiment puts two men and one woman of four different nationalities on four desert islands, and comes back after 6 months to find out how they've got on. He comes to the English island, and finds the three sitting on the beach exactly where he left them. On asking why, one of the men says nervously "Well, you didn't actually introduce us." He goes to the Italian island, and finds the woman sitting all alone on the beach. She explains: "The two guys, they kill each other fighting over
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 A man goes up to a store clerk in Moscow and asks for a kilogram of beef, half a kilogram of butter, and a quarter kilogram of coffee. "We're all out," the clerk says, and the man leaves. Another man, observing this incident, says to the clerk, "That old man must be crazy." The clerk replies, "Yeah, but what a memory!"
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 The Commissar visits the collective farm in the 1920's, and asks the farm manager "Comrade, tell me, how is the potato crop?" The manager replies "Comrade Commissar, the potato crop is marvellous. If we put all the potatoes we have into a big pile, it would reach up to the feet of God." The Commissar, shocked, says "But Comrade, you must know that since the Revolution, there is no God." The farm manager replies: "It's funny you should say that, Comrade. There aren't any bloody potatoes either."
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 Three businessmen are rounded up and hauled before a Soviet Tribunal.
The Prosecutor brings the first man before the Judge, and says: 'Your Honor! This man is running a business and he makes a profit!'
The Judge immediately replies: 'Aha! A Capitalist! Five years in the Gulag!'
Pleased with this outcome, the Prosecutor brings the second man before the Judge, and says: 'Your Honor! This man is running a business and he is losing money!'
The Judge has to think about this a few minut
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Дата: 23.07.2008
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 An old Polish man finds a magic bottle, and a genie pops out and offers him three wishes. The man thinks for a second and then says "I want Genghis Khan and his Mongol Horde to return from the grave and sack Warsaw, and then return home!" The genie agrees; undead warriors shall rise from the dust in Mongolia and make their way to Warsaw, raping and pillaging as they go, and when they reach the city the slaughter will be terrible.
The man thinks, and says "for my second wish, I want Genghis Khan to sac
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 An American Army colonel and a Russian Army general are bragging about how great their respective services are.
"In Russia," says the general, "we feed our men one thousand calories every day!"
"In America," replies the colonel, "we feed our men THREE thousand calories every day!"
"Nonsense!" exclaims the Russian. "Nobody can eat an entire sack of potatoes in twenty-four hours!"
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 Here is my favorite: It is the time of Glasnost and the Soviet state is showing a kinder, gentler face. But, still there are shortages. An old man and his wife are waiting patiently in line to get into a store to buy a half kilo of meat when the store manager comes out and tells the line "we are out of meat--go home."
The old man goes ballistic and starts screaming to anyone who will listen: " "Is this what we have suffered for? Is this the communist dream? I fought valiantly and hard i
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Дата: 22.07.2008
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A Bulgarian goes to park his bicycle in central Sofia. Two cops come up to him and say, 'you can't leave your bike there, there's a soviet trade delegation coming'.