1.From the Fifties: A race was held between an American Ford and a Russian Moskovitch. The race is reported by Pravda as: the Russian car came in second, the American car came in next to last.
2. A Russian railway worker retires and is given a special pass that will get him to bypass the long lines at the railroad station. He shows up one day to take a journey and is directed to a long line. He asks "What is that line?" and is told that that is the line for people with the special pass.
3. A Russian peasant finds a bottle with a genie in it who says he will grant the peasant one wish. The peasant says: "Kill my neighbor's mule".