Eiting
"One drink always makes me dizzy".
"Really?"
"Yes — and it's usually the eighth."




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Riddles
"How many times have I told you to fall in for these formations on time, private Smith?"
"I don't know, sergeant. I thought you were keeping the score."

'If the Dean doesn't take back what he said to me this morning, I am going to leave college." "What did he say?" "He told me to leave college."

"Now, Mr. Blank," said a temperance advocate to a candidate for municipal honours, "I want to ask you a question. Do you ever take alcoholic drinks?"
"Before I answer the question," re ... Читать дальше »

A visitor from England startled at dead of night by a terrifying hoot asked his American host: "What cawn that terrifying sound mean?"
"It's an owl," the host explained.
H'l know, but who's 'owling? "

When Gypsy Rose Lee heard that her G-Siring was going to be published in London, she wired her publishers, "Who is going to make the English translation?"

The British Ambassador walked briskly into the foyer of a Washington hotel, and stopped for a moment to speak with one of the bright-but ... Читать дальше »

Да, я принципиальный, но не дебил.
По этому вопросу существует два мнения: одно неправильное, другое мое.
Кто бросает курить -- оттягивает свой конец, кто курит -- кончает раком.
Пушка стреляет сначала по параболе, а потом по инерции.
В увольнение пойдут только образцовые тумбочки.





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