"How many times have I told you to fall in for these formations on time, private Smith?"
"I don't know, sergeant. I thought you were keeping the score.

" Sergeant — "Did you shave this morning, Smith?"
Rookie — "Yes, sir."
Sergeant — "Well, next time stand closer to the
razor."

A soldier asked another: "What do you do when somebody puts you questions about some secret matters?"
"I begin whispering him some crazy answers."
"Why whispering?"
"Because many people believe ever ... Читать дальше »

"Jim," said Brown, "what did you call your mother-in-law after you got married?"
"Well, I'll tell you," replied Jones, "for the first year I addressed her as "Say," and after that we called her "Grandma!"

Teacher — "When was Rome built?"
Percy — "At night."
Teacher — "Who told you that?"
Percy — "You did. You said Rome wasn't built in a day."

Prof.— "Name two pronouns. "
Stude — "Who, me?"

A Sunday-school visitor asked the children what he should talk about,
and got an ... Читать дальше »

Dentist (to talkative patient). - " Open your mouth and shut up.

The man was suffering from a bronchial attack, and as a result of it he was unable to speak above a whisper. The illness was slight, but painful, and he decided to call at the residence of the. doctor who had just moved to town.
The patient appeared one evening at the doc¬tor's front door, rang the bell, and after a short wait stood facing the doctor's young and pretty wife.
"is the doctor at home?" he asked in his bron¬chial whis ... Читать дальше »

Какая мне посторонняя разница?
Закройте язык, товарищ курсант!
Будете в увольнении, не знакомьтесь с незнакомыми людьми.
Если вы разгильдяй -- напишите это себе на лбу, я прочту, и мне все сразу станет ясно.
Машина прыгнула и задавила солдата.





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