Brezhnev went to Paris on a trade mission. While he was there, his hosts took him to a strip show. A Western businessman bragged to him, "Of course, Communism could never produce anything like this."

I'll show you a thing or two, thought Brezhnev. He turned to an aide and said in Russian, "Next month, I want you to open the world's finest strip club. Spare no expense but hire only longtime Party members of proven loyalty. Understand?"

"I'll see to it at once, Comrade Secretary!" Next month, the world's first all-Communist strip joint opened on Red Square. The first night it was packed. The next nigh, half empty. The next night, no audience at all.

Brezhnev angrily demanded, "What went wrong? Wasn't the food any good?"

"It can't be the food, Comrade Secretary. We hired the best Ukrainian chefs and they've all be loyal Party members since 1954.'

"What about the service?"

"It can't be the waiters, sir. All the waiters have been loyal Party members since 1948."

"Well, maybe it's the strippers."