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Гость. "Russian, I already know." 01.07.2008, Вторник
A KGB officer is walking in the park and he sees and old Jewish man reading a book.
The KGB says "What are you reading old man?" The old man says "I am trying to teach myself Hebrew."
KGB says "Why are you trying to learn Hebrew? It takes years to get a visa for Israel. You would die before the paperwork got done."
"I am learning Hebrew so that when I die and go to Heaven I will be able to speak to Abraham and Moses. Hebrew is the language they speak in Heaven." the old man replies.
"But what if when you die you go to Hell?" asks KGB.
And the old man replies, "Russian, I already know." 
Larry Rasczak
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From Tsafy (Israel,English)

Debutante Ball...

A U.S. Navy cruiser [color=red]was anchoredin Mississippi for a week's shore
leave. The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following
note from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner:

'Dear Captain: Thursday will bemy daughter Melinda's Debutante Ball.
I would likeyou to sendfour well mannered, handsome, unmarried
officers in their formal dress uniforms to attendthe dance.

They should arrivepromptly at 8:00 PM preparedfor an evening of
polite Southern conversation. Theyshould beexcellent dancers, as
they will bethe escorts of lovely refined young ladies. One last
point: No Jews please.'Debutante Ball...

A U.S. Navy cruiser was anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore
leave. The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following
note from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner:

'Dear Captain: Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's Debutante Ball.
I would like you to send four well mannered, handsome, unmarried
officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance.

They should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM prepared for an evening of
polite Southern conversation. They should be excellent dancers, as
they will be the escorts of lovely refined young ladies. One last
point: No Jews please.'

8:00 PM on Thursday, Melinda's mother heard a polite rap at the door
which she opened to find, in full dress uniform, four smiling black
officers. Her mouth fell open, but pulling herself together, she
stammered, 'There must be some mistake.'

'No, Ma'am,' said the first officer. 'Captain Goldberg never makes mistakes.'[/color]

8:00 PM on Thursday, Melinda's mother heard a polite rap at the door
which she opened to find, in full dress uniform, four smiling black
officers. Her mouth fell open, but pulling herself together, she
stammered, 'There must besome mistake.' surprised

'No, Ma'am,' said the first officer. 'CaptainGoldbergnever makes mistakes.'[/color] smile

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