An American comes home one day and finds his wife in bed with another man. He calls his analyst.

A German comes home one day and finds his wife in bed with another man. He calls his lawyer.

A Frenchman comes home one day and finds his wife in bed with another man. He calls his mistress.

An Englishman comes home one day and finds his wife in bed with another man. He calls the dog and goes for a walk.

A Russian comes home one day and finds his wife in bed with another man. He goes purple with rage and yells out:

"Woman, woman, you waste your time like this when there are turnips in the shops!"
http://timesonline.typepad.com/comment/2008/06/top-ten-communi.html